Domestic Violence Laws Need to Be Stronger

Domestic violence is rampant and sadly the laws are too slack to actually protect most if not all of the victims/survivors.
There needs to be more support for the victims/survivors and harsher laws for the abusers in DV situations.

If you are in a situation of DV please get our asap don't keep staying in that relationship.

As a survivor of DV myself, I know how scary it can be in the relationship and how scary it can be trying to get out of it alive, I almost didn't make it out alive in 2002 and he even said my children might not have lived meaning if I hadn't gotten away. (He was their step dad.)
If you are a victim or survivor of DV and you need someone to talk to please feel free to message me as a part of your support system whether your a female or a male victim/survivor. I'm not a licensed counsel, but I did live in those types of relationships from 1979 at a 18 years old until 2007 when I got out of those types of relationships. Therefore I know the hardships, the emotions it can cause and the pain.
Teresa

Copyright © Teresa Causey-Christian 2015 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog may be reproduced without Teresa Causey-Christian's expressed consent.

Not All Abusers Are Spouses And/Or Boyfriends/Girlfriends

Not all abusers are spouses and/or boyfriends/girlfriends sometimes they can be strangers, family or friends and not all abuses is physical, I can be verbal, emotional or mental abuse. Abuse as you see comes in many forms and can be from anyone anywhere anytime so beware...

Do You Feel Alone, Insecure, Mislead, Hurt, Angry, Disappointed, Afraid, Dismayed, etc? If You Said Yes, You're Not Alone...

Do you feel alone, insecure, mislead, hurt, angry, disappointed, afraid, dismayed, etc? If you I want you to know that you are not alone. There are so many more in this world that feel as you do even when you feel you must be the only one feeling like that. Domestic violence knows no social boundaries, no economic boundaries, it can affect anyone in any country in any town and even in any church. It has no preference and no shame. Domestic violence is such an ugly part of our society today and has been for decades upon decades. It is sad that it happens so frequently and many if not all times the victim will try to justify the abuse as being something they said or did. I know I did the same thing every time I was in an abusive relationship/marriage. I made excuse after excuse after excuse instead of seeing it for what it was their angry being transferred through them via abuse to me and it's the same in you or situation as well if you are in fact being abused. We may give them reason to be angry but it in no way is an excuse for them to be abusive. Victims live in torment yet we have to choose to get out when can do so safely and we must choose not to return to that abusive person. You must think enough of yourself to know that you and your children deserve better. also by you or staying in the situation it sets your children up to be abused while there and/or to grow up to be abusive and/or in abusive relationships themselves. I realized this too late and by not only being in abusive relationships/marriages I set a very bad example for my children when I was. I have now been alone per se since 2007 vs being abused. That is not to say I will never be in another relationship/marriage it is just to say I'd rather be alone than abused. It takes courage to get out, but you have it if you dig deep within to find the courage and to get get support from others and to make a plan to get out of the abusive situation.

Originally posted in my blog Surviving Victimization

"The Puppy Dog Syndrome"

"The Puppy Dog Syndrome" 
I believe many women/men who have been in or are still in abusive relationships/marriages have what I call "The Puppy Dog Syndrome" where we see what appears to be a hurting adorable loving man/woman, much like an adorable loving puppy who seems to need us when in fact they are a biting breed only their bites are from their words and fists. We see them as the first and think, Oh I can help him/her because he/she has been hurt and needs me then we realize they aren't so adorable and loving, then we think, Oh it's alright because I can love him/her enough for them to change. Well sadly ladies and gentlemen you can't love them enough for them change especially when they don't want to change. They may have many reasons for the abuse they give out but in reality their is no excuse. They refuse to get help and are sure to blame you for their abuse many were abused themselves and /or saw their parent abused yet they choose not to break the cycle instead of breaking you and if they don't then you have to break the cycle of violence you are enduring by getting out safely asap. Do not let yourself get into The Puppy Dog Syndrome again. I did it over and over and it has cost me dearly and it nearly cost me my life and possibly that of my children more than once. Be wiser, choose wiser and be safe. tcc

"Someone Going To Church Doesn't Always Mean They Have Changed"

Don't think just because someone goes to church that they can't be mean/violent. There are many abusers that go to church and many being abused that go to church. Do not let them use the church to cover what they are doing to you. Many will not only go to church but will participate on the pulpit singing, preaching etc they do this to keep others form knowing how they truly are when at home behind closed doors, now that is not to say that all who go to church are like that so please do not misunderstand. I just know from experience it does happen as I was married to a man who did just that. I do believe that God can deliver an abusive person from being violent after all He saved and delivered Paul who had many Christian's killed so He can do it for others but only if they want to be saved and change. You can't love someone enough for them to change they have to want to. I know I have tried, even God can't and won't force someone to change. He gave us all a free will to choose to serve Him or not, to choose to do good and not harm etc... It's all about choices theirs and yours. So please choose wisely even if they don't

"The Puppy Dog Syndrome"

"The Puppy Dog Syndrome" 
I believe many women/men who have been in or are still in abusive relationships/marriages have what I call "The Puppy Dog Syndrome" where we see what appears to be a hurting adorable loving man, much like an adorable loving puppy who seems to need us when in fact they are a biting breed only their bites are from their words and fists. We see them as the first and think, Oh I can help him/her because he/she has been hurt and needs me then we realize they aren't so adorable and loving, then we think, Oh it's alright because I can love him/her enough for them to change. Well sadly ladies and gentlemen you can't love them enough for them change especially when they don't want to change. They may have many reasons for the abuse they give out but in reality their is no excuse. They refuse to get help and are sure to blame you for their abuse many were abused themselves and /or saw their parent abused yet they choose not to break the cycle instead of breaking you and if they don't then you have to break the cycle of violence you are enduring by getting out safely asap. Do not let yourself get into The Puppy Dog Syndrome again. I did it over and over and it has cost me dearly and it nearly cost me my life and possibly that of my children more than once. Be wiser, choose wiser and be safe. tcc

Take The Negative Hurt In Your Life And Turn It To A Positive

For years the childhood sexual abuse haunted and nearly destroyed me, but now I take my pain and turn it to positive energy to try to tell others that they are not a defined by the abuse the y endured and that they can begin living as survivors and also help others for in helping others know that they can make it through it we in turn help reassure ourselves. We have lived through it and must not continue to live in it in our mind over and over daily. It isn't easy but it can be done. I wish I could take away your pain, but I can't but I can tell you as a survivor myself that when you use the negative as a positive it does make life easier for you emotionally and in many other ways. We can't change what was done to us, but we can help others because we went through it too.  tcc

Many Christian's Are Also Victim's of Domestic Violence At Home

If you think that domestic violence doesn't affects Christian's then you are wrong, it happens more often than not. Sadly it is such a hidden thing that even most pastor's don't even know when someone in their church is being affected by DV. In my opinion churches need to implement free literature on DV and support systems for that area as many could benefit from it and that could be the only place they can get the information form when in a DV situation and sometimes not even then. Those who are affected by DV have learned to hide the pain behind a smile many because they feel ashamed and scared. Do not look down on anyone in such a situation, you cannot understand if you have not been in that situation. Most victim's are fearful of not only the abuser but also of judgment from others if they were to learn of their situation. You cannot force anyone out of a DV situation, but you can offer prayer, love and support. Domestic violence isn't limited just to physical violence it also can include but not limited to the following,verbal, emotional and mental abuse etc.If someone tells you that you are stupid, incompetent, ignorant, ugly, etc that is a form of abuse, if someone blames you for their bad behavior and makes you feel guilty for their choices that is a form of abuse, if they guilt you with threats of leaving and/or suicide that is a form of manipulative abuse, etc. Know that you are not alone, that there are options, support groups and ways to get out. Do not let others shame you for what you are going through. Put God first, pray and ask Him to show you what to do and where to go. You are always welcome to comment here or private inbox me at tchristi41@aol.com I am not a Dr. or a certified counselor I am however a survivor of domestic abuse, childhood sexual abuse, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, severe obesity, etc. I am here to help if I can.
Also check out www.whengeorgiasmiles.org a site that Dr. Phil's wife stared that has a free app to help keep you safe, I hope you will go to the site and check it out and download the free app. Be safe, be aware and be blessed....  Teresa

WOMEN'S CONFERENCE "YOU ARE NOT ALONE"

WOMEN'S CONFERENCE

"YOU ARE NOT ALONE"
Women's Conference
By The Hodgin Road Christian Church
[When]
Saturday, November 9, 2013
[Time]
10:30am until 2:30pm

[Description]
Women's conference focusing on the common emotional struggles women face such as depression and anxiety and that we serve a God that loves and values us and is always there! You are not alone!

Guest Speakers:
Dar Hensley - Exectutive Director Stepping Stones Ranch/Clarksville, OH , Cheryl Heacox - Christ United Methodist Church/Richmond, IN, Holly Trenum - Pastor's wife and Registered Nurse/Hodgin Rd Christian Church, Richmond, IN

Guest Worship Leaders:
Angi Tague -Pastor's wife / Life House Church/Dayton Ohio and Michelle Cotton - Christ United Methodist Chruch/Richmond, IN

Lunch:
Soup and Salad Bar

Cost:
Free

Place:
4050 Hodgin Road, Richmond, Indiana 47374

RSVP by Wed Nov 6th:

Please call church at 765-966-7152

Fear, Depression, Anxiety Can Wreak Havoc On Our Health And Emotions If We Aren't Careful...

Fear, depression, anxiety can wreak havoc on our health and emotions if we aren't careful to control them and not let them control us they will destroy us. So we must fight back and take back the control...

God tells us 365 times in the Bible to Fear not .. Trust me our flesh does fear, but we can make it even through the fear. tcc

Domestic Violence: Biblical Scriptures Against Evil (Which Can Include Abuse And How A Man Should Love A Woman And Vs Versa)) And Hotline Information

If you need help right away please call 911... Click on the highlighted words for The Hotline link: Domestic Violence Help Via The Hotline also the numbers are below where you may call as well...

Many would tend to think that once you become a Christian that you will never be sad, hurt or abused yet sadly that isn't always the case. When someone is being abused whether they are a Christian or not they tend to hide that fact for many reasons and so there will be times you will see others at church and/or church related functions/missions and not even realize that the person is being abused in some way. usually those being abused keep it to themselves for one or more of the following reasons, fear of the abuser, fear of be ridiculed for staying, shame, humiliation etc. They may always have a smile on their face or they may simply keep to themselves or they may be completely involved in many area whatever they are doing it is to serve God and to perhaps get away from the abuse and to deal with the abuse. I would love to see churches offer Domestic violence counseling and/or support groups in the churches. They must be confidential counseling/groups in order to keep the ones being abused safe and free from repercussions from the abusers. I do not believer that God wants us to be abused by spouses or even those we may date. See Jer. 29:11

Jeremiah 29:11 King James Version (KJV)

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

That scripture plainly tells us that God wants us to have peace and not evil therefore He would not want us to be abused which is evil. 
Also see: John 10:10

John 10:10

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰ The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Ephesians 5:25  King James Bible
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:28
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

There are many many other scriptures that would also attest to the fact that abuse is wrong.  With that we need to teach those in church that abuse isn't Biblical. We also need to let them know that the church is here to help those being abused so that they don't think that they are alone and that they must stay and be abused any longer. Reach out to them via God's word during some of your sermons, on  the streets, in stores etc. We need Biblical pamphlets on Biblical principals against abuse with numbers where they can reach out for help.
For A Domestic Violence Hotline you can call the following:
The Hotline by phone at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

SIGNS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE MAY INCLUDE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING: 

Excerpts from  http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/what-is-domestic-violence/ are below:

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

• Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you
• Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive
• Tries to isolate you from family or friends
• Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with
• Does not want you to work
• Controls finances or refuses to share money
• Punishes you by withholding affection
• Expects you to ask permission
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets
• Humiliates you in any way

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

• Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.)
• Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you
• Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place
• Scared you by driving recklessly
• Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you
• Forced you to leave your home
• Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving
• Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention
• Hurt your children
• Used physical force in sexual situations

We All Have Dreams And Even At Nearly 53 I Still Have Dreams I Want To Fulfill...

I was thinking about one of my dreams to become a public speaker to include but not limited to the subjects of childhood sexual abuse, domestic abuse as well as mental and emotional abuse, homelessness and obesity plus other areas I have experienced myself all of which I am a survivor of... I would also love to be able to find a way to start programs for those who are also going through those things and/or are survivors and through it already. I have several dreams and I want my children and family to be proud of me. Right now I have not done any of the above per sey, but I do talk to people I meet in a day to day basis and try to encourage them and pray for them... I am standing on the following scriptures to include but not limited to   Jer. 29:11    Jer. 33:3    Hab. 2:3 and Heb. 11:1 Rom. 8:28

I Hope That You Will Read And Comment On My Blogs As Well As My Facebook page Surviving Victimization

I hope that you will read and comment on my blogs as well as my Facebook page Surviving Victimization. Thank you...  Teresa
http://survivorslikeus.blogspot.com/
http://domesticviolencehappenstochristians2.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/survivingvictimization
http://parentsmakemistakes.blogspot.com/
http://www.tchristi41.blogspot.com/

Domestic Violence Happens To Christians Too

Many people in church are victims and/or survivors of domestic abuse, yet most don't even realize that about the person sitting right next to them or somewhere near them that is either being hurt or has been hurt and now out of that. Many times the evidence of the abuse is hidden behind smiles and laughter, under clothes, etc. If they are still being abused they don't want others to know the shame and humiliation they are feeling and if they are out of the abuse and still haven't gotten to where they no longer feel ashamed and humiliated they may still not tell others of hat they went through. Their spouses may or may not go to church with them. There have been times while at church that God had me to looks around at someone out of the blue for me to see the pain in their eyes and has had me to go talk to them and I find out they are in an abusive relationship/marriage and I pray for them and I listen to them. I have met and talked with people at church, on the streets, in a store etc. I would love to see churches preach on Domestic Abuse and use such scriptures that show how a man should treat his wife and how a wife should treat a man ( should the man be being abused) to include buy not limited to the following:

• I Peter 3:7, NIV
•   ⁷ Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
•  
• "The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked." ~Proverbs 10:11, NKJV
•  
• "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." ~James 1:19-20, NKJV

The Bible also exhorts fathers not to provoke their children to wrath (Ephesians 6:4) and to see children as a blessing and "heritage" from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).

Ephesians 5:33

King James Version (KJV)

³³ Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

King James Version (KJV)

³³ Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband
  
I would like to see churches with programs/classes for those in domestic violence situations that need support and those who are out of those situations and yet still need support.  They think that they have to keep it silent so others don't see what they are going through and sometimes that is more for their and their children's safety than anything else. You may wonder how do I know about Christian's being in such relationships/marriages, because I was once a victim of DV while a Christian and now I am a survivor of DV as a Christian. I would go to church smiling and laughing as if nothing were wrong (even though I was being abused in both DV marriages), and after I was out of those marriages and living as a survivor I would smile when I felt like breaking down crying which sometimes I still do, There are times the memories come flooding back but then God reminds me of this

 2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (KJV)

So he is there even when I feel overwhelmed with the past, we can't forget the past, but we can forgive those in our past that hurt us and forgive ourselves. It can be done one day at a time...

 Victims of abuse should consult with the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233